Tuesday Tips: Living and Working with a Chronic Illness

 

As you may know, a few years ago, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. This completely altered my life in so many ways, and I've had to learn to adapt. People often ask me how I manage, and I figured why not share my top tips for living and working with a chronic illness. But before I get into this, I need to be clear that every person is different, and what works for me may not work for you--and that's okay! Find what does work for you and do that. 

Okay, so here we go...

LEARN TO SAY NO!

I'm a people pleaser. I like to help others, and saying no is hard for me. And I'm notorious for offering help even when not asked -- I'm always putting myself out there. As you can imagine, this has taken a toll on me over the years. I had to learn to prioritize and say no, which I'm not going to lie... it was difficult. But for my own physical and mental health, I simply have to say no sometimes, and you know what? That's okay! 

LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF!

This was a big one for me, too. Anytime I'm not actively working, I feel guilty. Like, I should be writing or editing or blogging or literally anything other than sitting on the couch watching TV, or napping. But I had to take a step back and realize that doing nothing is actually doing something. I'm taking care of myself, and let's face it--if I'm not in good health, I can't do any of that other stuff. So, forgive yourself for not working every second of every day, and give yourself permission to rest when needed. 

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

I know this seems like a no-brainer, but I have to remind myself of this daily. Make sure you're getting enough exercise and drinking enough water. Get plenty of sleep (when possible). Get some fresh air. Eat healthy -- in whatever context that means for you. Personally, I've found that I need to avoid too many carbs, so I tend to stick to a Keto friendly diet. And most importantly -- find something you like to do that's not related to your job. As a writer and editor, I'm always engrossed in books in some form, but lately, I've been stepping away to focus on other things: painting wooden crafts, adult coloring books, playing Solitaire on my phone. These things help me decompress, and then I tend to feel a little better.

FIND A SUPPORT SYSTEM!

Whether this is family or friends or an online support group, having people you can lean on and talk to is invaluable. God knows I wouldn't be as functional as I am without my husband, kids, parents, and close friends. And really, just having someone who understands what you live with every day and who you can talk to about all of it is sometimes exactly what you need. 

Do you have any other tips and tricks to living with a chronic illness? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Fighting Fibro: A Spiritual Awakening?

 

In my last update post, back in August, I'd mentioned I was in the midst of yet another medication change. Well, I've been back to the doctor once since then, and I'm now completely off the Cymbalta--YAY for that! 

I've upped my dosage of Prozac to 20mg per day, which I now take at night, a couple of hours before bed. This has helped tremendously! I'm sleeping so much better at night, and I wake up feeling more refreshed than I used to. 

Unfortunately, I still don't feel like I'm at my best.

While I'm not napping every day anymore, I'm still kinda sluggish. I still feel like everything around me is foggy and distorted. I'm struggling like you wouldn't believe to focus on tasks and writing. Ugh -- my writing has suffered so, so much lately. Now, I should mention I've been dealing with some family, friend, and financial stress, too, which I know doesn't help. Plus, the weather is changing, temps are dropping, and that has always affected me in negative ways. Increased joint pain, a drop in mood, etc. 

The only way I can truly describe how I've been feeling is like I'm carrying chains around on my body. I feel weighed down. Heavy. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, too. And I'm doing this in a constant fog, like I can't truly see anything clearly, everything is dull and fuzzy, and I'm slow to comprehend and process things. 

This is constant. Non-stop. All day. Everyday. 

Until last weekend...

My aunt -- God love her -- dragged me to a local psychic and holistic healing fair. Now, I went because she wanted me to and because I knew there'd be local vendors selling their wares, and well, I love to shop for Christmas gifts at these types of things. 

I need to preface the rest of this post by stating the following facts:

1. My aunt is spiritual but not necessarily religious. She leans toward Wiccan beliefs.

2. I grew up going to church. I've been baptized. I've always believed in God. 

3. I do not judge anyone for their beliefs. Ever. 

4. I also believe in science and medicine. If I can see it, feel it, touch it, smell it, taste it, etc., I tend to believe it. Yes, I realize this is in direction opposition to the entire concept of faith. BUT! I also firmly believe that just because *I, personally* haven't experienced something doesn't mean it's not real. I've never seen a ghost. Or an alien. Doesn't mean those things don't exist, right? 

So, now that I have that out of the way... We're at this fair and having a good time. I'm enjoying myself. My aunt stops at a Reiki healing booth. She's so excited! Asking me if I've ever had Reiki. I said no, because I haven't. And I'm not a liar. My aunt then asks if I want to--she's insistent it can help me with my Fibro pain (and all those pesky negative thoughts and emotions I've been battling lately). She tells me to try it, to keep an open mind. 

I'll admit, I was skeptical. But--and I swear this was the exact thought that went through my mind--what harm can come from trying this? It's not like it will hurt me or cause anymore pain than I'm already in, right? So, I took a deep breath, promised to keep an open mind, and I sat down in the Reiki Master's chair. 

She asked me (1) what I've been struggling with lately, (2) if I believed in God or some sort of higher power, and (3) what I wanted from our session. My answers to those: (1) pain in my left knee, across my lower back, along my shoulder blades, extreme fatigue, emotional stress about certain personal relationships, (2) yes, I do, and (3) to not feel so "heavy" all the time.

Then, the session began. I closed my eyes and listened to her soothing voice, the soft music playing, and the jangle of her bracelets. 

Thirty minutes later, she was done, and I opened my eyes...

The pain I'd been in when I'd first sat down in her chair was GONE! The constant fog surrounded me lifted. And I just felt lighter. My mental attitude was vastly improved. I wasn't suffering from bone-weary exhaustion. 

I'm not sure I can fully explain what she did or how it helped, but it did! Remember point #4 above: if I can see it, touch it, taste it, smell it, etc., I believe it? Well, I felt an actual physical difference. One minute, I had very real pain. When she was done, that pain was gone. The world around me was suddenly clearer. The weight I'd been carrying disappeared, and my shoulders just felt lighter. 

It's been a full week now, and I'm still feeling incredible. Yes, I've had some pain again, but I'm still taking my medication, still working out, still eating a low-carb diet. I'll continue to follow my doctor's orders, but I am absolutely including regular Reiki sessions into my treatment plan. 

This experience wasn't something I'd ever expected, and if not for my aunt, I probably never would've taken this leap of faith. But I am so glad I did, and I cannot wait to see how much better I continue to get with this new opportunity open to me. 

Fighting Fibro: A Long Overdue Update

 

My last Fighting Fibro post was back toward the end of May. At that time, I was attempting to wean myself (with my doctor's guidance) off my medication. I was convinced that I'd feel better doing so, that I'd finally get rid of the fatigue plaguing me, and that I could manage with diet and exercise. 

Ha! I should've known better. 

I lasted about 30 days before I dragged my butt back to my doctor. I was in in constant pain, which in and of itself drains energy, so I really wasn't kicking the fatigue--I simply was tired for different reasons. And all the symptoms that come with Fibro--beyond the pain--came back with a vengeance! 

I was a raging bitch on a good day (and there weren't many of them). I was snapping at everyone for everything. If I could have gotten away from myself, I would have! The IBS symptoms returned, too. No matter what I ate or drank, I felt terrible afterwards. Bloating. Cramps. Overall grossness. Don't even get me started on the headaches. Lack of focus. Brain fog. 

I was, once again, a hot mess. 

So, I went back to my doctor, and we discussed other medication options. I wanted to try to go back on Gabapentin, which was what I was on when I was first diagnosed, but that messed with my blood pressure, and my doctor felt that was unsafe. 

I was adamant that I did not want to go back on the same dosage of Cymbalta I'd been on because then I became a zombie, and I couldn't function throughout the day. She suggested some other options, but I was leery about starting an entirely new medication I knew nothing about. We compromised, and I was prescribed the lowest dosage of Cymbalta (20 mg) that I take before bed every other night. 

Fast forward to the end of July when I had my 30 day check-up... While I wasn't suffering from quite as much fatigue, and I didn't feel like a zombie most days, I was still having a lot of consistent pain. Thankfully, the other symptoms (IBS, mood swings, headaches, brain fog, etc.,) had gone away again. Now, I just needed to find a way to manage the constant pain. And yes, I was still consistently working out and eating less sugar / carbs / foods that naturally cause inflammation. But, it wasn't working.

Now, my doctor had left the practice (she's having a baby and moving out of state), so I saw a new doctor. I liked her immediately! She really took the time to listen to me and my concerns, and she agreed that increasing my Cymbalta wouldn't help me. Unfortunately, for Cymbalta to be an effective fibro treatment, you have to take at least 30 mg daily. 

Uh-uh. No way!

She eventually prescribed me a second medication--10 mg of Prozac to be taken daily, first thing in the morning. She swore this would work in conjunction with the Cymbalta, not make me so tired I'm a zombie, but still combat the pain I'm having. 

To say I was skeptical was an understatement. But, I'm not a doctor, so...

At first, I didn't notice much of a difference--until I accidentally missed 3 doses in a row--and then I felt it. Pain. So. Much. Pain! As of today, I've been back on the Prozac in the morning and Cymbalta every other night, and I feel GOOD AGAIN! I have energy. I don't have constant pain anymore. No more headaches, IBS, mood swings... 

Here's hoping things continue to improve. I return to my doctor the end of this month for another check-in. We'll see how that goes :) 

Writing, Reading, Struggling, and Other Updates

With 2021 almost over, I'll be writing my annual "Looking Back" post, and in preparation for that, I've done some self-reflection. Mostly about my writing, but also about my health and my overall lifestyle habits. So, I thought I'd give some updates because I've been struggling to finish some highly anticipated books. *cough*Jax'sBook*cough*

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This basically sums up how I've been feeling lately. Oh, and this one:

   

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Anyone who follows me knows I have Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. For all of 2020, I had it under control. I was working out daily. Eating right. I felt INCREDIBLE! As a result, I was writing like a mad woman, publishing an entire series, blogging regularly, taking care of my house and family. Despite the pandemic, I felt like I was on top of the world. 

And then I crashed and burned. Hard and fast. 

Suddenly, I was tired all the time. I'd wake up in the morning tired, and I'd fall asleep sitting on the couch. I couldn't focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. I had no desire to write. No ambition to edit. I couldn't even read for enjoyment. So, I dragged my butt back to my doctor. We switched my medication, readjusted my diet, and slowly, I started to feel a little more like myself. 

Only, I still couldn't find the desire to write or edit. Now, I realize part of this might be because I had written so much in 2020 and maybe I'm just experiencing a bit of burn out, but quite simply, that's not good enough for me. I refuse to let any of this keep me down. All this means only one thing--I need to change my habits. Again. 

Before I go any further, let me explain how things went in 2020:

I'd get up. Write for an hour or so. Work out. Shower. Get dressed, complete with makeup and jewelry. Eat breakfast. Write a bit more. Then edit, answer emails, blog, do promo work, etc. Every day, consistently, without much deviation. I was in my office, at my desktop, working a rather regular set of hours each day. 

Fast forward to now... 

I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning, and I'm constantly going back to sleep once my daughter is off to school. I don't work out anymore. I'm barely writing. Y'know, all that stuff I've already said above. 

With the assistance of my doctor, I found a new natural dietary supplement that's been helping tremendously with the fatigue. My new medication is keeping the constant pain at bay. Two big hurdles have been cleared. Now it's time to hold myself accountable in other ways.

Throughout all of this, I'd stopped working out regularly. Why? Because when I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open, and my body hurts to even sit up, exercising is out of the question. Of course, not working out leads to even more pain and overall blah-ness. It's a horrible, never-ending cycle. This leads to me having no real ambition for anything--like writing. 

I'd also stopped dressing like I was working out of the home. I'd throw on clothes and yank my hair into a ponytail. I no longer write first thing in the morning. And I stopped working at my desk in favor of sitting on the couch with my laptop (because at the time, it was much more comfortable), but this led to me being too comfortable and therefore wanting to sleep. Or binge watch TV shows. 

But with a new year fast approaching, I'm more determined than ever to get back on track. Starting today, I'm working out in the morning again. I won't allow myself to go back to bed. I'll dress for success, and I'll sit at my desk like I used to! I don't know if I'll actually write any new words, but you can bet I'm going to try, and I'll finish out this year strong :) 

For those of you who have been (not so) patiently waiting for my next book, I promise it's coming. It's just taking me a longer than usual. 

My newest book, THE CULLING, is releasing January 4, 2022 as part of the MAGIC AT MIDNIGHT anthology, so be on the lookout for that. I'm re-launching my book WARPED REMAINS in March (stay tuned for an upcoming blog post about that). Right now, Jax's first book, BOUND, is set to release in April, with book 2 to follow in May, and book 3 in June. I'll be taking July and August off from publishing to go on a cruise and spend time with my family. But then I'll be back in September with another new book, though I'm not sure what yet. 

As always, thanks for sticking with me, and I wish all of you a very happy holiday season and a safe, fun, prosperous New Year 💖

Looking Back on 2019...

2019 was an...odd year for me, so much so that I'm not even sure what word to use to describe this past year. LOL. Professionally, in terms of my writing and publishing, it wasn't so great. But, it was really great in a lot of personal areas. Let's take a look back on the year and see what I accomplished, what I didn't, and what big changes I faced in 2019.

My original 2019 goals included: 

• Rewrite/revise/write all three books in my Georgia Corbins Series.
• Write Eternal Bond, the second book in my YA paranormal romance series. 
• Write an untitled project for a potential editor. 
• Officially launch FireChicken Press, LLC. 
• Read and blog.

I didn't do any of this! 

I know that sounds horrible, but there's a good reason I didn't do anything I'd set out to do. This was the year that my life changed drastically...

In May, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. If you want to read all about my journey to that discovery, you can do so HERE. This diagnosis has led to a complete lifestyle change. I've started going to the gym 5 days a week, sometimes more, and I was on the Keto diet. I've since gone off that because I lost quite a bit of weight, and I'm happy where I am now. And seriously, the weight loss has helped tremendously with the pain management. 

This was me in April, with my daughter on her prom. I was 186 pounds. (Isn't my daughter beautiful, though??)

This was me on Christmas day, at a much healthier 137 pounds!

I feel like a completely new person.  

But, trust me when I say that none of this was easy. Far from it. There were days when I wanted to say "screw it" and go back to the way I used to be, to eating whatever I wanted and sitting on the couch. And there were days when the pain was just too much, and I spent all day in bed. It's taken almost all year for me to figure out what does and doesn't work, what my physical, mental, and emotional limits are, and how to say no without feeling guilty. I've had to learn to listen to my body and slow down when needed. It's been a year of self-discovery for sure. 

Naturally, all of this resulted in me not being able to work as much as I normally do, and I've had to learn that's okay, too, that self-care is more important than how many words I write, or how many books I edit. But, to make myself feel slightly better, and to prove I'm not a total slacker, here's what I did do this year:
  

PROFESSIONALLY:

• I wrote a total of 112,475 words on various projects.
• I wrote 25K of the first Corbins book, and then decided making it Christian fiction just wasn't working. So, now I'm back to the secular version, which will require another revision, but I'm excited about where it's going.
• I wrote 35K of Eternal Bond, and I have two handwritten pages of plot notes, so I know exactly where the story is going. 
• David and I revised, and then signed, Warped Remains with Anaiah Press. We spent several months in edits, and the book is now set to release on January 21, 2020. 
• I wrote an entirely new book from start to finish!! Perfectly Imperfect is a contemporary YA Christian romance. It's set to release via Anaiah Press in May 2020. I love this story so, so much, and I can't wait to share it.
• Between here and the Anaiah Press blog, I blogged a total of 5,784 words.
• For Anaiah, I edited 5 full-length novels and 4 novellas.
• I freelance edited 3 full-length manuscripts.
• I took on a slightly new position at Anaiah Press. While I'm still the Editorial Director, I have a host of new responsibilities that I'm really enjoying. 
• I've outlined a couple new YA projects/ideas, many of which will be co-written with the lovely Rosie Somers. 

PERSONALLY:

• I turned 40!
• In May, I saw Twenty-one Pilots in concert--again--with my daughter. They seriously put on the best show ever!
• In June, I went to NY to see my second daughter graduate high school. She's now in college and working. I'm so incredibly proud of her. 
• In July, my husband and I went to NY and moved my parents to MI. I'm SO thrilled to have them living close again. 
• In August, I went to the Jackson County Fair to see Boyz II Men with my friend, Emily. It rained like crazy, but we had a great time.
• In October, I saw Luke Bryan in concert for the second time, but this time I was with Emily. (She's my person. I love her!)
• Thanks to all the time I've spent at the gym, I was able to catch up on several TV series: The Vampire Diaries (all 8 seasons), The 100 (6 seasons, and now impatiently waiting for the 7th and final season), Stranger Things (I'm going crazy waiting for season 4!), and now I'm on season 4 of Supernatural. 

Despite everything going on, I did manage to read a bit this year, too:

1. Price of Silence by Staci Stallings
2. The Jerk Magnet by Melody Carlson
3. Obsidian by Jennifer Armentrout
4. Onyx by Jennifer Armentrout
5. Opal by Jennifer Armentrout
6. Origin by Jennifer Armentrout
7. Opposition by Jennifer Armentrout
8. Two Can Keep a Secret by Karen McManus
9. The 100 by Kass Morgan

So, once again, I didn't publish a single thing in 2019, and I didn't snag an agent, but that's okay. Moving forward, I'm focusing on staying healthy and in shape, spending more time with my family and friends, and just enjoying life. As for the future of my writing and publishing, well, stay tuned for my annual goals post :)   I 

Long-awaited Updates and Publishing News!

I'm horrible about blogging regularly, so I've stopped trying. LOL. I figure I'll just post when I have something to say, so here I am, finally ready to talk about some stuff.

First, thank you to everyone who's reached out to me since my last post--back in May when I shared my fibromyalgia diagnosis. I'm happy to report that I'm feeling FANTASTIC! The meds have been working wonders. The constant pain and fatigue are rare nowadays, so that's great. I've been committing to the Keto lifestyle--not because I necessarily wanted to, but because I've learned through trial and error that eating too may carbs causes a flare-up. Eating a keto diet helps manage the pain, along with going to the gym regularly, which I'm actually starting to enjoy.

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A nice "side-effect" of all this is that I've lost almost 40 pounds and have dropped 3 sizes. Overall, I have more energy and am excited about life again. Oh, and I've started writing again, too...

The book I co-wrote with David Jemal, WARPED REMAINS, is releasing via Anaiah Press on October 22, 2019. Keep an eye out here and on my social media for more updates on this, including the cover reveal.

Remember my book, The Georgia Corbins? Well, I've been busy rewriting it, and I'm excited to announce that book 1 will be released via Anaiah Press in May 2020 with book 2 to follow in November 2020 :-)

I'm also busy working on a ton of other projects, and I'll share more about those later.

That's all for now. Have a great week!

Mid-life Alteration

I've never been shy about sharing my feelings regarding publishing and the many ups-and-downs, but today, I'm getting personal. I'm going to be 40 in June, and I'm at that age where I'm hearing the "over the hill" jokes and the humorous mid-life crisis stories. And sure, they make me laugh, but I've never envisioned myself as the type of person who would have a mid-life crisis. Nor had I ever truly felt my age--until about 6 months ago.

I started feeling bad. Really bad. Downright crappy, if I'm being honest. I was tired all the time, no matter how much I slept. I was having hot flashes and mood swings and I ached everywhere all the time and I had no energy, and I wasn't sleeping well. Of course, I immediately assumed menopause....because, well, I'm going to be 40. Yes, that's super early but not unheard of.

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So, I do the grown-up thing and make a visit to my lady doctor. Good news! I'm not menopausal. Yay, right? YES!!! But I still didn't have any answers as to why I was feeling so horrible all the time. My doctor suggested possible thyroid issues and encouraged me to visit my primary doctor to get some blood work done.

Like a good patient, I followed her advice. My doctor tested me for thyroid issues and vitamin deficiencies. Good news! All of my blood work came back normal. Yay, right?? Yes, in the grand scheme of things, that was good news. Real honesty, here...I cried when I got the results. Not because I was happy, exactly, but because I still didn't have any answers about why I'm feeling like I was hit repeatedly by a Mack truck. If it wasn't menopause, and it wasn't thyroid or some vitamin deficiency, then what the heck was wrong with me?!?!

Once again, I trudge back to the doctor's office. I do a full depression screening. A heart test. A bazillion and one questions, and finally, I get an answer.

Fibromyalgia. 

It's taken me a couple weeks to come to terms with this. While it's not life threatening, there is no cure, and it is absolutely life altering. So, at almost 40 years old, I'm having to take a step back and re-evaluate so many aspects of my life--mostly my diet and limits, both physically and mentally.

I am on medication, and it has helped tremendously. I've also started on the Keto diet, and I'm recommitting to going to the gym more regularly, because a good diet and regular exercise are the best defense against this disease.

Now, you're probably wondering why I'm bothering to share all this with you?

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Because for anyone who knows me, you know I don't say "no" easily. I'm always willing to help or get involved, and I'm forever taking on more than I can handle. Not to mention the pressure I put on myself to write all the words all the time. But I've had to face the fact that I just cannot do this anymore. Moving forward, I will be much more selective about what I commit myself to, how many editing jobs I take, and the writing deadlines I set for myself.

So, to those who have messaged me and I've been curt--I'M SORRY. Please don't take it personally. When I'm not my normal chatty self, it's because I'm either busy with family or work stuff, or I'm having a bad health day. And to everyone who's messaged me to check in and ask if I'm okay--THANK YOU!