Spill the Tea Tuesday: The Power of a Like

Today, author Connie Ann Michael is spilling the tea...

“You get followers by doing things people like so you’re popular with the world and not just in high school or your inner circle. You don’t know how many people don’t care about you until you get a like on your phone, and it’s addicting.”

-Students from church

I work with youth at church and have had a front row seat to technology in today's world, and the funny thing is, for the older students, they totally know how they are prisoners to social media--they just can’t stop. It reminds me of the saying, ‘if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, did it makes a sound?’ If you post something on your Snapchat/Instagram and no one likes it, did it happen?

This generation has never been without technology, and their perspective on the world they are in is very different than the one I grew up in. Appropriate use of technology is foreign to them or maybe there just aren’t any rules. 

During our church services I watch as texts, videos, snaps, whatever…are sent across the room like a wave. They are literally all at the same place, sharing the same experience. 

I live very near Yellowstone National Park and see visitors who miss all the fun animals and thermal features because they need a selfie that will get them likes. Or that a goring by a buffalo will get them a million likes on YouTube. No one steps in to help each other because it will disrupt the video or the shot. There is an entire site available for people to just post pictures and get likes. These pictures have to get more and more inappropriate as they fight for the likes. 

I was on a plane with a group of middle schoolers and listened to a very serious conversation they had on whether or not they had permission to take photos of each other. They didn’t want candids of them going out without a chance to filter them. I was impressed they were taking the initiative but sad they had to. 

Personally, I cannot stand watching people taking selfies, but what really gets me is when people are talking into their phones, listening to videos, anything that brings the world inside their phone to my world. I have unwillingly been a part of conversations I want no part of, but I've been in the same aisle at the grocery store. Custody battles, therapy sessions, divorce conversations, you name it.

When did talking at your phone become a thing?

When did the amount of likes we get value or devalue an activity we do?

My son went in the Army five years ago, and when he was in holding, the lonely place they go before basic, all phones were taken away. The people with him went nuts. A small number even went as far as trying to commit suicide because they couldn’t handle being cut off from this cyber world. They were at a loss at being able to document their every move. It happens again and again when they deploy and all service is shut off. The value of a day has come down to how many likes we get.

I feel it.

I get wanting to know what is going on. I remember rushing home to see if the little light on the answering machine was blinking. BUT! This is getting ridiculous.

On the other side of the coin are those who are addicted to giving the likes. Those who hold the key to validation. I have students who can’t hear the buzz of a phone and not need to see what happened, even if it isn’t their phone. It drives them nuts that I have the ability to not check my phone for an entire day. The minute they walk out the door, they are back on and liking the posts they missed. Even my own mother, who is older, can’t not look if she gets a notification and is quick to send a like or a heart. Kids freak out if I take their phone before they get a chance to take photos to keep a streak going on Snapchat. They get mad if I don’t let them respond to a crazy post--it’s a give and take, and we need both sides to make it work. The glow of the phone is hypnotic, the anticipation of the thumbs up or the like is addicting. The waiting for instant gratification from a returned text can drive them to immediate thoughts of, ‘he’s ignoring me’. 

But we can’t live without them, right?

I have tried to adjust. I have tried to understand. I try not to yell for people within my vicinity to turn down the volume, but I can’t overcome it. I can’t stand the sound. I can’t stand the feeling of needing to be available all the time. I can’t stand feeling I need to filter my photos and post my daily life.

Misophonia, which literally means “hatred of sound,” is a condition that causes strong emotional reactions to specific sounds.

My friend said this is what I have, it’s just directly related to cell phones. I have a strong emotional reaction of wanting to grab a phone and toss it in the road and jump on it. But I think it is so much more. And the problem is, no one knows how to make it better.

So, for all the great things about our world and the technology we now have at our fingertips, we have become an impatient and very self-centered civilization. We spend way too much time looking at ourselves, altering our appearance so we look better than ever, and then trying to get people to like the fake person we are becoming. 

Connie Ann Michael was born and raised in the city of Seattle but after attending Washington State University she turned into a country girl and moved to a small...very small town. She has two teenage boys that provide countless amounts of material for her books. Her boys have left for college, and now she occupies her time playing with her three dogs, mountain biking, kayaking, and anything else she can do outdoors. Learn more about Connie on Facebook and Goodreads.

The tea has been spilled! Who's gonna clean it up? 

Drop your thoughts in the comments!