Embracing Your Imperfections

For anyone who's read my YA romance, Perfectly Imperfect, you know it deals quite a bit with imperfections and learning to accept them. If you haven't read it yet--spoiler alert!--it deals with imperfections and learning to accept them :) 

In the book, Isabelle is dealing with the grief of losing her brother and the fallout that this death has caused, namely, the impact it's had on her family. Her mother has turned to alcohol to cope while her father has thrown himself into work. All of that leaves Isabelle on her own a lot. But she's much too embarrassed to admit to anyone just how much of a train wreck her life currently is. So, she hides it. She builds this carefully constructed facade to make everyone believe her life is picture perfect, while also trying to obtain personal perfection in everything that she does. 

Why? 

Because she feels like a failure, like she somehow failed her brother's memory by allowing her family to fall apart. And because she's worried people will judge her if they know the truth. At one point in the book, the boy she really likes, Grayson, says this to her:

"No one is perfect, Belle, and God doesn’t expect us to be. Every one of us is so perfectly imperfect. That’s what makes us all so unique."

That line really resonated with me on so many levels, but most of all, it made me take a closer look at myself and my own imperfections. 

We all have things we don't like about ourselves--especially right now. Hello, dreaded bathing suit season. LOL. 

 

via GIPHY

So, I'm going to be real vulnerable with all of you right now and tell you a couple of my biggest imperfections and how, since writing this book, I've been attempting to adjust my perception of them. 

1. Body Image: I've always been on the smaller side. All through high school, I was 5'4" and 110 pounds. As I got older and started having kids, my height, unfortunately, remained the same, but my weight slowly increased. Last year, I was at my heaviest ever--186 pounds. I hated how I looked and felt. So, I began a weight loss journey and dropped 52 pounds. I feel so much better, but every day when I look in the mirror, I still see all the areas where I could stand to lose another 5 or 10 pounds or places that could stand to be toned a bit more. 

To be clear, I don't for one second perceive my weight to be an imperfection. It's how I view it and myself that's my imperfection here. I'm way too hard on myself, easily forgetting that I LOST 52 POUNDS! That's a heck of an achievement, and I have to remind myself of that quite a bit, especially on the days when I'm particularly hard on myself. And as my husband so gently reminds me every time I get down on myself: "I'm a 41 year old woman who's had 5 kids and lived life. I have nothing to be ashamed of." And he's right. 

2. Perfectionism: Like Isabelle in my book, I tend to be a perfectionist. Whether I'm editing or writing or doing, well, just about anything else, I strive to do whatever I'm doing perfect the first time. And if I don't, I feel like I've somehow failed. And woo boy, talk about stress! This is a big reason I hadn't been able to finish a book in so long (prior to this year) because I was constantly worried about what I was doing wrong and fixing it rather than just getting the words on the page. It took me quite a while--and a lot of awesome writing friends--reminding me that it doesn't need to be perfect; it just needs to be done, and that as long as I'm giving it my best effort, that's all that matters. 

Ultimately, my goal with this book was for readers to walk away feeling better about themselves, to know that whatever imperfections they're dealing with don't make them bad or less than. They make them unique and loved. 

So, time to be honest...

What're your imperfections? How do you deal with them? 

Share your story in the comments!

Isabelle Carson is charging into her senior year equipped with a handy checklist to ensure nothing goes awry. Things she didn't account for: a hot, new guy who almost runs her over, a messed up class schedule, and a boyfriend who dumps her for one of her best friends. All of that pales in comparison to the threat of her dirty family secrets breaking free from the perfect façade she’s diligently maintained since the death of her brother.

Grayson Alexander is on his fourth school in as many years. Lakewood Valley High is exactly like all the others, with one shiny exception: Isabelle Carson. She’s smart, funny, beautiful— the perfect package. But Isabelle is hiding something, and Grayson is determined to do whatever it takes to win her trust, except step foot in another hypocritical church.

As Isabelle’s life spirals out of control and her carefully crafted, picture-perfect image begins to shatter, Grayson does what no one else can: he makes her laugh and allows her to be imperfect. With rekindled faith, Isabelle sets out to right all the wrongs in her life. But Grayson has been damaged by his own family secrets, and Isabelle will have to decide if the boy she’s falling for more and more each day is a right or a wrong.

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