As someone who is heavily involved in books, from writing them to editing them to reading them, I have a lot of opinions on certain things. As an editor, one of my most left comments for authors is: Go deeper. How does this make your character feel?
But, what exactly, do I mean by that? Usually I'm telling authors to show something rather than telling it to the reader. But more than that, I'm pushing authors to use more vivid language, to draw on the five senses to bring the story to life.
How does an author do that effectively without falling into the trap of relying on telling and distancing words? Well, I'm glad you asked! Because today I'm sharing five tips for using sensory details to create a vivid and immersive deep point of view.
1. Show, Don’t Tell with Visual Descriptions
When it comes to creating a deep POV, showing rather than telling is key. Instead of simply stating that a character is in a beautiful place, describe what they see in rich detail. Think about when you're in a new place for the first time? What do you notice? How does that impact your impression of the place?
"The garden was beautiful and full of flowers.”
“Vibrant blooms of crimson and gold cascaded over the trellises in the garden, while sunlight filtered through the leaves, casting a mosaic of shadows on the cobblestone path.”
Tip: Focus on specific details that your character would notice. If your characters hates being outside, then their portrayal of the garden will be much different than a character who finds beauty in nature. It's these small, vivid details that help paint a picture in the reader’s mind, making the scene more immersive.
2. Immerse with Sounds
Sound can be a powerful tool in creating a deep POV, allowing readers to ‘hear’ the world your characters inhabit. In fact, auditory details can help ground the reader in the moment and make them feel like they are in the story with your character.
“It was loud and noisy.”
“The market buzzed with the chatter of haggling vendors, the clink of coins, and the distant wail of a baby. Rickety cart wheels squeaked incessantly along the path.”
Tip: Think about the layers of sound in a scene. Is there a background hum, like the distant roar of traffic or the soft rustling of leaves? Or is there a more immediate noise that dominates the scene? Like a horn blaring or the sounds of a rock concert.
3. Evoke Memories and Emotions with Smell
Smell is one of the most evocative senses, often linked to memory and emotion. Incorporating scents into your writing can trigger an emotional response in your readers and deepen their connection to the story. This is probably one of the trickiest senses to incorporate without falling back on those pesky telling / distancing phrases.
“The kitchen smelled good.”
“The warm, comforting aroma of cinnamon and baked apples filled the kitchen, reminding her of holidays spent with her grandmother.”
Tip: Use smells to evoke past experiences and emotions in your characters. A sudden whiff of perfume might remind a character of a lost love, or the scent of rain on asphalt could bring back memories of childhood summers.
4. Bring Taste to Life
While taste might not be relevant in every scene, when it is, it can be a powerful way to create a deep POV. Describing taste can transport readers directly into your character’s experience.
“The soup was delicious!”
“The rich, savory broth warmed her from the inside out, with hints of garlic and thyme dancing on her tongue.”
Tip: Be specific about flavors and the sensations they create. Is something tangy, bitter, sweet, or spicy? Does the taste linger or leave a sudden burst of flavor? Taste is especially important when creating fantasy worlds where foods are different from the contemporary world.
5. Ground Your Characters with Touch
Touch can convey a lot about a character’s environment and their emotional state. Describing textures and physical sensations can help to ground readers in the scene and make them feel what the character is feeling. But the key here is to make the touch count. Don't show a character touching something just because. Make sure there's a reason behind it.
“The bed was comfortable.”
“She sank into the soft, downy mattress, the cool silk sheets soothing against her sunburnt skin.”
Tip: Think about how textures and temperatures affect your characters. Is the air humid and oppressive, or crisp and refreshing? Is the surface rough, smooth, sticky, or slick? But more importantly, HOW does this affect your character?
I've often asked authors if they've ever read a book that they liked but didn't really connect with on a deeper level. That book that you finish and then promptly forget. And the answer is always inevitably yes.
I firmly believe the reason for this is a lack of deep POV. If you're not fully immersed within the story and the characters, they won't leave a lasting impression, which is why utilizing the five senses is so critical. You want to make your readers see, feel, hear, taste, and touch everything that your characters do.
Do you have any tips you'd add to this list?
Any dos and don'ts you abide by when writing?
Share them in the comments!